Thursday, August 9, 2007

BREAKING NEWS; STARCRAFT II RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCED FOR NOVEMBER 6, 2007


Behold ye gamers and nerds who have never talked to women without a credit card, your salvation has arrived. As Blizzcon wraps up, our man on the floor (Tron - me) received exclusive breaking news that Starcraft II will officially launch in November 6, 2007.
........
......
.....
.... (wait for it)
...
..
.

NOT

Haha, you idiots. I bet if I said "first 100,000,000 preorders get a date with Jessica Alba" you'd believe that too.

The truth is, we're all going to be in a new decade before Blizzard finally releases Starcraft 2. So why the hell did they announce their game 1 year before the unofficial unannounced pre-lease date? By the way, that silly EBGames date will definitely get pushed back into 2009. (Anybody remember Diablo 1.10 patch, World of Warcraft release, etc.,?) For you see, Blizzard does not release games during Xmas times. They wait till after Xmas to say "Screw you other game companies, we don't wait for no silly holiday season and WE STILL outsell the competition"

You know what I hate about Blizzard? They thought that everyone of us would be rock hard and salivating from the mouth, waiting for a game that won't come out for at least another year....And it's true. Bastards.

Seriously, have they ever accidentally swallowed 4 viagra pills and had a hard on for a 2 days? Probably not. But I have, and it hurts. Except now I feel like I've swallowed 800 pills, since I'm going to be having a raging hardon from now until we finally get to taste the glory juices that is Starcraft 2.

Tron out

No comments: